Our Love Story Series : I Almost Let Go

After the day I said I do, I was so certain I had met the One I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Simply put, it was a match made in heaven.  I was desperately in love and He had our future life together mapped out.

Seven years after that wonderful day, I almost let go. I almost walked away, I was so persuaded that somewhere out there, a better, more exciting, more fulfilling life awaited me. The truth is there wasn't.  I was sure I'd find a life more exciting outside Him. I thought I would find another who understood and loved me like Him. Someone who would give their all just to have me,  even if it meant taking the last drop of their blood.

Suddenly I started to feel too important for Him,  too busy for Him. Something kept telling me I was too good to be stuck with Him.  Then I started to get entangled with the affairs of this life,  other things were taking His place. I liked it and even though I knew it was wrong, I let these things take me farther from Him because it made my ego feel better. I thought I was in demand because so many things and people wanted my attention. I didn’t stop to think how it would affect us. I almost walked away from Him.

I switched on the unappreciative mode and instead of feeling grateful, I made it seem like He was not a big deal in my life. I didn’t appreciate all of the things He did for me neither did I take to account how much He loved me.  I started to think that what we share wasn’t worth anything and that’s exactly how I started to treat it. I didn’t put any effort to fellowshipping with Him. I simply let things slowly slide downhill. I stopped doing the little things like saying “I love you” or casting my cares upon him. I told myself I was doing great by myself.

Some people started to validate the negative thoughts coming to me,  I believed them and only got blinded by  the words that travelled down my soul.  I  started to turn into something I didn't like,  I started to do things I wouldn't do normally. I turned to other things and people for attention. It didn't feel right,  knowing He paid to have me legally but I kept pouring ice on the flames. Our intimacy started to fizzle.  One step at a time I kept tripping and going deeper into the wormhole of depression and pride. My ego kept getting the best of me. All through these,  He kept loving me more and more. He saw what I was doing but couldn't love me less. Then He started to write me more love notes.  He wrote this sweet note to me, and it has been carved in the core of my heart ever since:

It reads...

My love, 

"Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end—Because I am LOVE, your personal LOVE.  I paid a huge price for you: all of the world. That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you."
 
From
The One Who can't stop loving you 

He captured my heart once again,  I got a grip on reality and realized what I could have lost if I had walked away.  Now I am more in love than ever.  I  awakened to the Love that never dies.  This love found me when I was lost,  this love freed me while I was bound, this love always was and  always will be.