Day 4: 30-Day True Woman Makeover Challenge

Committed to Marriage

Marriage is a covenant. Learn more about this lifelong commitment.

• A wife has a permanent, unconditional commitment to act in a way that is according to her husband’s best interests—not to serve herself, but to serve her husband.

• A husband can trust a godly wife to speak well of him and to keep confidences. He can trust her in the way she speaks about him. He can trust her to protect his reputation.

• A godly wife inspires a man to be worthy of her devotion. He rises to that because he knows he has a woman who is an asset, not a liability—a woman who supports, encourages, and helps him in every way possible.

This is just a taste of what you'll learn from Nancy Leigh DeMoss in the series, “The Counter-cultural Woman: A Fresh Look at Proverbs 31.”

Moving on….

Marriage is one topic I really hate to write about, mainly because I have no experience in that area but one thing I know for sure is that Christ-Church relationship provides us with a perfect model for our own marriage. So when I think about it, I always think about Christ and the Church and that is mainly what I will write about today.

First of all, I want to encourage every spouse, or every future spouse to commit yourself to a life of prayer. Doctrine without prayer is boring. Marriage and family life without prayer is boring and burdensome. We need daily prayer. We need daily mental prayer to foster that deep covenant of friendship with Jesus Christ. Only then can romance and sex and intimacy become the things that God designed them to be. If we make that the be-all and end-all, we know, I can tell you for sure, our marriages will flounder. Sexual intimacy is not meant to be fireworks, but rather glowing embers that God uses to bring the warmth of covenant love and life into everyday experience.

So, what is the most common misconception Christians have about marriage? "Finding a 'soul mate' — someone who will complete us,". "The problem with looking to another human to complete us is that, spiritually speaking, it's idolatry. We are to find our fulfillment and purpose in God . . . and if we expect our spouse to be 'God' to us, he or she will fail every day. No person can live up to such expectations."

Everyone has bad days, yells at his or her spouse, or is downright selfish. Despite these imperfections, God created the husband and wife to steer each other in His direction. When a husband/wife forgives . . . and accepts, he/she learns to receive God's forgiveness and acceptance as well. In that moment, he/ she is modeling God to the other, revealing God's mercy, and helping them to see the very real spiritual reality."

While it's easy to see why God designed an other-centered union for a me-centered world, living that way is a challenge. So when bills pile up, communication breaks down and you're just plain irritated with your husband or wife, these reminders help us to ease the tension.

We need, therefore, a lot of humility and patience before God and before our spouse. We need to recognize ourselves for who we are, with our weaknesses. We need to recognize Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of our lives and of our marriages and families, and a source of the daily graces we need. We need to see that the speck we have detected in our spouse's eye is not normally as big as the beam in our own. We often exaggerate the faults in our spouse because we have not allowed the Lord to show us our own problems. But if there is one truth I really believe that we need to live more than any other, it's forgiveness. Jesus Christ has forgiven the Church. He has washed her. He has cleansed her by the washing of water with the word. He has given to us His own Holy Spirit, so that we, as His bride, might be pure and holy. Therefore, the Christ-Church relationship gives to us the greatest principle of forgiveness. That is the way we live our daily lives.

In light of that we need to respect each other's freedom. I am not the Holy Spirit. I am somebody’s future wife. He is not the Holy Spirit to me but we both can allow the Holy spirit work in and through us. We cannot force each other to do certain things. We have to respect freedom. We also have to assume the best on the part of the other and trust God to work in the life of our spouse and see that that is what the covenant is there for.

We need to recognize that the other person is filled with Christ. So ultimately, I'm not trusting a fallible sinner who is just like me, I am trusting Jesus Christ in His capacity and His desire to work in their life just as He can work in mine. And as we experience that, we can find common ground. We can cultivate common interests. We can really share the natural and the supernatural life that we have in Christ together. 

Truth is, no relationship comes with a lifetime guarantee. Even men and women who grew up in stable homes, who attend church and consider themselves Christians, who promise "until death do us part," can have it all fall apart. "We have to stop asking of marriage what God never designed it to give — perfect happiness, conflict-free living, and idolatrous obsession,". Instead,  we can appreciate what God designed marriage to provide: partnership, spiritual intimacy and the ability to pursue God — together.