An Open letter to the woman who is searching for Identity

I cross paths with women from all walks of life, and many of them remind me of the girl I used to be.  The Lord has healed and restored my life in so many ways that I don’t think I could ever truly tell of all He’s done.  But it is my heart’s greatest desire to let every woman I meet know that the Lord is able to meet her at her very point of need, no matter how low it may be, and heal in every area where there is pain and brokenness.

Today, may you be encouraged in knowing that the Lord will restore the years you've sown in tears and fill your life with unspeakable joy. (Psalm 126:5)

This is from my heart to yours: To the woman who feels unwanted and unloved...

Dear Friend,

Hi. How are you? I'm good. I'm writing to you because I hear you are down and out. I really hate to see a woman hate herself. Society has brain washed you into thinking you aren't a beautiful woman unless you are a size 2, shaking your ass in a music video, and/or having a sex tape out for the world to see. Look, not every woman has the body frame to be a size 2. Even Marilyn Monroe, one of the biggest sex symbols in the world, wore a size 16. Real women have curves. You don't have to sell your soul just to get 15 minutes of fame. I don't think your parents raised you to be known as the woman who shakes her ass in a video, while men disrespect you and call you out your name. You should have more respect for yourself by learning how to make your money without taking off your clothes and shaking your ass. Your soul should not be for sale. You are a child of your God, so act like it! Sex is an act you perform with someone you love. You shouldn't leak a sex video, so you can get a career. All you will be known as, is the woman who can sleep around very well. Really?!? It's not cute. Your God intended you to do your best with your mental abilities and not use your physical to get whatever you want.

I also want to talk to you about the way you let men abuse you.

First, and most important, the abuse is not your fault.  It doesn’t matter what you have done or haven’t done, the abuse is not your fault.

Your abuser’s behavior is HIS responsibility.  HIS sin is between him and God.

No one “deserves” to be hit or used sexually or even verbally assaulted.  Nowhere in the Bible are husbands, boyfriends, or anyone else given a mandate or permission to abuse you.  You do not deserve to be hurt. You may have been raised in a single parent household without your father. You may not have known your father at all or your father may not have cared for you even though he is still living. Life is never fair. When you get in a relationship, you act as though since your father was missing all your life, now you have to find some father figure. Not only are you fooling yourself, but you are also fooling your partner into thinking you will have a healthy relationship. Your God always give you substitutes in places you are lacking. If you need a father figure, there may have been a brother, cousin, or an uncle in your life who was a notable and loving man. You may have not realized it.

 Sometimes we women try to create a fairy tale out of a horror movie. We can be in the worst situation, and we'll try to convince ourselves that things will change and things aren't all that bad. There's nothing wrong with being optimistic, but there is something wrong with putting yourself (or keeping yourself) in a dangerous situation because you think he might change. You have to learn how to care about yourself

Also, life is not about getting knocked up  or because you feel there is no other way to get out of your circumstances or to keep a man. If you are in high school, sex shouldn't be your priority, studying should be. You should have a plan to either go to college or learn a trade once you graduate. You need to learn how to take care of yourself first before you start to take care of a family. If you feel as though there is no way to get out of your circumstances, then you are hanging around the wrong people. Get around people you see are making a difference in their lives and others. There is no rule to say you need to have a man. If you feel you have to have a baby to keep a man, then that man is not for you. Not everyone is for you, but you can learn from everyone. If you notice your man having baby after baby with many different women and you think he is going to stay with you because he places his head at your house, you are insane. This man has no respect for you and doesn't even care about himself so, how would he care for you?. If men don't care about themselves, they wouldn't care if they pass on a sexual transmitted disease to you.

So, I hope you take heed of all the issues I have talked about. You should be your main priority. Your life is precious and don't take it for granted. You're worth is priceless. Learn how to love yourself and your God will take care of the rest.