The Ramblers Chronicles: Moving On

This is a new personal series I’m trying out to see if you like it, find it interesting, funny, helpful, whatever. It is no-punches-pulled, 100% ridiculously transparent.

I can’t lie to you.

I’m definitely in a transitional period in my life.  I was even considering the dramatic act of cutting all my hair off, Caesar-style.  My friends would understand right? For some reason, women always turn to the scissors in hopes of “getting a fresh start”. Well, I didn’t cut my hair off BUT…I am moving forward. It’s the season for it, don’t you agree?

While shifting through all of my “issues” I realized something…

Most people like to wear their issues on their sleeves, tormenting themselves and all those who see it. For some reason, we often feel like we have to “fix” everything, even when we know it is beyond repair. This is especially true when it comes to relationships.

Answer the following question honestly:

Have you ever ended a relationship at the exact moment you felt it was over?

Take to the comments section to answer.  I bet 90% will say, no.

The reason: Many of us like to punish ourselves. We like to feel like we have to “stick it out”, “make it work”, etc, blah blah blah.  I’m not saying that you should run at the first sign of trouble but you know when 2 + 2 is no longer = 4. You get that gut feeling in your stomach. You confide in your best friend. You start to look at your partner differently; with disgust, disdain.

A friend had been off and on with his girlfriend of 4 years. Each time we talked about the shortcomings of their relationship it was the same three things:

1 – She wasn’t a good communicator

2 – She wasn’t matured

3 – Her mother controlled her life

[Of course, since this was coming from a friend, I have no idea with her issues with him were.]

Each time she promised to work on things. At first, there would be an improvement: more talk, more head, less references to mommy dearest. Weeks would pass and slowly she would return to her old habits.

Finally, tired of hearing the same story I asked him:  Why are you with her if it’s clear that this is who she is.

Friend: I love her.

Me : Well, let me be the first to tell you, you can love someone and NOT be with them. At some point you 

have to love yourself more and MOVE ON.

Moving on is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.

Unhappy with work, friends, family, a relationship? Accept it for what it is. You can’t fix everything or everyone. More importantly, you shouldn’t suffer or feel like a failure because it didn’t work. Take the lessons you learned, use them to become a better person and…MOVE ON!